rough copy of My Play

The Man Who Saved the World

Eric Johnson hr2
JOHNA
I cant belive we tipped the canoe on the first day.
KRIS
I would be more surprised if we didn’t tip the canoe on the first day.
[laughs]
STEVE
Well at least we found a good campsite for tonight. After Kris’s little stunt, we’ll need some time to warm our cold and shriveled bones
KRIS
Oh so now its my fault!
STEVE
Who’s great idea was it to…
JOHNA
Hey guys, lets not fight. We came up to the boundary waters to have fun, not to bicker about who’s fault it was that Kris tipped the canoe.
KRIS
You guys said you wanted to go down the falls, why is all my fault?
STEVE
My exact words were, “Kris, I definitely do not want to go down those falls.”
KRIS
Well it sounds different when you say it that way.
JOHNA
And the screaming, “No turn the other way!” definitely didn’t register ether then?
KRIS
We would have made it if you panseys hadn’t frozen up and stopped paddling we would be in this situation.

JOHNA
[shivering]
Ether way, lets get a fire going here, I’m freezing my teeth off over here.
KRIS
Good plan, I’ll go get some wood for the fire. You guys can setup camp and whatnot.
STEVE
You mean dry out all our wet gear?
KRIS
Whatever makes you happy Steve.
[Kris leaves and Johna and Steve fumple with their soaked equitment]
STEVE
[digging through geer]
Ahh man, my sleeping bag is soaked. My tent, my jacket, my clothes, my tackle box…
JOHNA
Yea, we all got problems Steve.
STEVE
[rambling}
My map, my compus, my socks, my Xbox. MY XBOX!
JOHNA
Your what?
STEVE
My Xbox! that’s it I’m going to kill him!
[Steve stomps off in the direction Kris went]
JOHNA
[outloud to himself]
Why would you bring an Xbox to the boundary waters? No, I’m not even going to ask.
[Kris comes runing out of the woods]
KRIS
Guys! We have to leave! Now!
STEVE
We aint going anywhere, you broke my Xbox you…
KRIS
[ignoring Steve]
Pack up, get the stuff in the canoe lets go!
JOHNA
[annoyed]
Great, what’s going on this time?
KRIS
No, I’m serious. There’s something in the woods!
JOHNA
[mockingly]
Oh Kris did he scare you?
STEVE
Did he happen to have an extra Xbox on him?
KRIS
I cant explain it, all I know is I don’t want to stick around here and be eaten by a Wildman in the woods.
[Kris starts throwing gear in the canue franticly]
JOHNA
Okay, good one. You got me. Lets all get our already wet stuff all jammed into a canoe with three sweaty men just for Kris to say, “ Oh hey, I was just kidding back there”.
STEVE
If you didn’t want to get firewood, you could have just said so.
[Steve begins twards the forest]
KRIS
[franticly screaming]
Don’t go in there Steve!
STEVE
Oh my gosh I’m going to get eaten by an enormous monster in the woods save me!
[Steve continues into woods. Kris runs after him but turns back and pulling out his hair returns to craming all of his things into the canue. Johna, who is confused and amused at this whole situation sits back and watches it unfold]
KRIS
What are you doing? You don’t belive me do you?
JOHNA
Wait, your serious about this aren’t you?
KRIS
Yes!
JOHNA
Awe come on, there’s not a monster in the woods, your mind is playing tricks on you. Too much water in your ears.
[Kris stops packing and looks at Johna, beginning to rethink his encounter]
KRIS
[uneasily]
Maby your right, I do need glasses.
JOHNA
See there we go. Now lets get all your junk out of the canoe.
[Steve comes stumbling out of the woods with a grin on his face]

STEVE
Ahh guys, he ate my arm! Save me!
KRIS
Alright guys, have your laughs. Have your laughs.
[Steve; still grining about his cleaver stunt tosses the loot down and sits down with a sigh]
STEVE
Alright, lets get this baby going!
JOHNA
[proudly]
Well they don’t call me the fire king for nothing.
KRIS
Less talk, more fire.
[Johna holds his word and starts the fire with ease]
STEVE
[warming his hands to the fire]
Ahh that feels good, almost makes me wish I had a Xbox right now.
[Kris shakes head]
JOHNA
[a guitar emerges from the pile of gear]
Gee, good thing I got a waterproof guitar case, I knew something like this would happen.
STEVE
Do we have to go through this again?
KRIS
I enjoy his guitar music.
JOHNA
Why thank you Kris, I definitely take that to heart.
[Johna plays some generic chords on guitar and the fire rages on. Kris starts singing noticicabley out of tune but keeps singing despite it.]
STEVE
[in an English accent]
Please spare me. I don’t think I shall last another song my dear.
JOHNA
Well if you don’t like it, you can leave.
STEVE
Okay, I’ll just go home.
KRIS
“Why don’t you throw your self in next time Peragin Took to rid us of your foolishness!”
JOHNA
LOTR!
[everybody laughs and johna puts down the guitar. They gaze upon the stars as the fire crackles like a hundred bowls of Snap, crackle pops.]
STEVE
Ahh, I could fall asleep right here.
JOHNA
Well I forgot to setup the tent, so I guess you don’t have much of a choice.
STEVE
[chuckles]
That’s my boy!
[Kris begins to snore]
JOHNA
He had a hard day hu?

STEVE
Oh definitely!
[All of a sudden a firey demon appears out of the woods and shoots flames out in anger]
DEMON
Who be these weary travlers who are so daring as to camp on MY land!
[Steve and Johna tremble in fear as Kris snores away his troubles]
DEMON
Speak quckley!
JOHNA
[trembling]
My name is Johna, and this here is Steve.
DEMON
And what be your buessness in these lands?
[Johna and Steve look at each other and notice that Kris is still sleeping sound. The Demon snorts in anger as smoke emits from every pore in his body]
STEVE
Were are here on a camping trip. We have no official “buesness” here.
DEMON
You mean to tell me that you traveled to these lands for a bit of leasurley fun?
JOHNA
[nervously]
Umm… yes.
DEMON
[ferioucley with spurts of flams emerging from accented words.]
Do you take me for some blockheaded imbusule! I am not that easily tricked!

STEVE
I don’t know what else to say, we have no “buesness” to speak of. We are here on a canoe trip to conclude the summer before senior year.
DEMON
Maby you are, and maby you arent. There is only one way to tell.
[the demon pulls a guitar from his flaming body and plays a short serious of amazing chords]
DEMON
Prove yourself to me. If you carry such a musical instrament so far, for fun, you should be able to compete against me. For your lives.
JOHNA
I… umm… I’m not that great of a…
DEMON
Play or you die!
JOHNA
[nerviousley picks up guitar and gets into position. Whispers to Steve]
What do I do, what should I play?
STEVE
[whispering]
Kid, I don’t know, you’re a guenios, figure something out.
DEMON
[impatentley]
I don’t hear any music!
JOHNA
Okay, okay.
[Johna plays a chord. And folows it by several others and lyrics that come to him simultaneously. He sings the greatest song the demon had ever heard. All sence of space and time warps into this moment and it stretches into forever as the tunes melt away anguish of the demon. The song finally comes to an end and the demon speaks quietly.]
DEMON
I shall return into the woods now. You have earned your keep.
[the demon slumps back into the forest of which he came from and is never heard from again. Johna and Steve stair at each other for a minute. Still not sure if what had just occoured had been real or a dream. No words are exchanged because they know what the other would say. They are obrublety interrupted by the continued snoring of Kris, who has slept through this whole ordeal. They laugh and both decide to go to bed, again with no words, to beter think in the morning with clear heads. The next morning Kris awakes the two other campers.]
KRIS
So I had the crasiest dream last night…